Just a quick PSA: The year of Detroit sports is over

Now you might thinking that the Pistons and Red Wings are still in the middle of their seasons and that the Tigers still haven’t started their season, but you’d be wrong.

The Pistons may have fooled you into thinking that they can make a legitimate playoff run this year. You might have even seen that they were at the top of the Eastern Conference early in the season and figured that they could at least be a four or five seed. Early wins against the Golden State Warriors and the Boston Celtics, the two top teams in their conferences, may have gotten you excited. But again, you’re wrong.

The Pistons have taken regressing to the mean to another level. Riding a 5 game losing streak, including losses to the lowly Bulls, Nets and Hornets, and dropping out of the top eight spots in the East, the Pistons are showing their true colors. The slide can be attributed to the injury of Reggie Jackson, which admittedly is a valid point, but with no real timetable for his return and the team in deep decline, his return may not matter. Even with Jackson, it’s hard to see this team taking a series from the likes of the Cavaliers, Raptors, or Celtics, the likely top three seeds. And when the season ends and the contracts of Tobias Harris and Avery Bradley expire, it’ll be back to mediocrity for the Pistons.

The Red Wings aren’t in a much better position. On a roster full of bloated contracts for older players, the Red Wings best hope is to tank this season, unload all the contracts they possibly can, and turn a high draft pick into a star while also hoping that their current young core of Dylan Larkin, Anthony Mantha, and Andreas Athanasiou continue to develop. Ken Holland has yet to prove he can be a competent General Manager in the salary cap era, but fingers crossed.

The Tigers are probably in the most laughable position of the three. Outside of Michael Fulmer, it’s hard to name a single reliable pitcher on their rotation.. Victor Martinez is a shell of a shell of his former self, Miguel Cabrera is clearly not the same Miggy of old, and the younger players like Nick Castellanos and JaCoby Jones have yet to prove they can produce on a consistent basis. Also Jordan Zimmerman is still a player on this roster. Enough said.

So yeah. Detroit sports are done for the year. I would strongly advise spending the time you would’ve spent watching these teams picking up a hobby or learning a new language. Aim to see improvement in yourself, because you sure won’t be seeing it in any of these teams.